My Life as a Mother

Logan is officially 2 weeks old today and let me tell you it feels like just yesterday that we were taking him home from the hospital. These past two weeks have definitely gone by faster than the last two weeks of my pregnancy and I'm afraid life will never slow down now that we have a child.

Being a mother has been hard, but it definitely hasn't been as big of an adjustment as some people make it out to be. Becoming a mother may have been a harder adjustment for me if Logan wasn't planned on our side, but since he was I have had a lot of time to prepare and I've set aside my professional/educational life just to raise him. Throughout my pregnancy I had a lot of people ask me if I planned on staying home with Logan after he was born and my answer has always been yes. I can't imagine going to work and having a job on the side out of the home, while caring for a newborn. Yes, I know there are lots of single moms out there or moms who need to work to keep the money coming in or they have no other choice, but my choice as a mother is to be a stay at home mom until all of my kids are in school, at least. I'm grateful for Steve's job and that it allows me to stay at home with Logan. I can't imagine going to work after being up a few times a night to breastfeed (it's exhausting). I really am grateful for my mom who stayed at home with my siblings and I and taught me how to be a good mother every day.

My mom and my sister were able to come out and help right after Logan was born and stayed for about a week. It was SOO nice having them here and they probably contributed to my smooth adjustment. My mom is a saint and was always on her feet while she was here, seriously I don't think she ever sat down. She was either doing laundry, cooking, holding Logan, or cleaning. One thing I valued the most from her was watching Logan while she let me sneak in naps between feedings. This probably saved me and my sanity the first few days. Literally 2 days after she left I got sick and am still sick. It has been miserable getting up in the middle of the night to feed Logan with being sick and all because all I want to do is sleep, but his smiles and cuddles sure do make it ALL worth it.

Hardest parts of becoming a new mother:
> Recovery- the first week after having Logan was miserable as far as pain and discomfort. I never really knew what to expect as far as pain after having him, but then again I did push a baby out of me and should be in pain for a little bit. I am pretty much 100% back to normal now, except for the being sick part.
> Breastfeeding- at first this was so hard and I thought about giving up a few times and just exclusively pumping, but I've stuck with it and it's getting easier. I've enjoyed the one on one time with Logan, but never thought babies ate so much! I seriously feel like I'm feeding him all the time.
> Lack of sleep- everyone told me to get as much sleep as I could before he came, but it's really hard to get ahead on sleep if you're not really behind in sleep to begin with. Becoming a mother totally alters your sleep schedule and I definitely take advantage of the time I have now to take naps.

Aside from the struggles of being a new mom, I've loved being Logan's mother! What I've loved the most is that special alone time I have with him throughout the day. I feel like he's sleeping ALL the time, but I love my cuddle time with him and I never want to put him down. He's growing up so fast and changing every day, but what hasn't changed is the way I look at him every day. Steve and I are all googly eyes over him and can't stop staring at him. One of my favorite parts of the day is when Steve comes home from work and all he wants to do is hold him. He loves his son so much and it makes me fall more and more in love with him each day.

My mom told me while she was here that she's never seen me more calm in my life than when I am holding Logan. I had to think about that for a bit and realized it's true. I'm usually always busy with something or stressing about something, but when I'm holding Logan I feel so peaceful and calm. I'm so happy that I was chosen to be Logan's mom, he really has made me have a better outlook on life and he's only been here 2 weeks. I really want to be the best mom that I can be to him.

Logan has been such a good baby since we've brought him home from the hospital. He sleeps literally most of the day and even at night he only wakes us up a few times to eat. I really hope he continues this streak.

How can you not love this face?!