My Thoughts on Being a Mom

Logan is taking a nap right now so I thought it would be a good time to write down some of my thoughts. Being a mom is hard; I never thought motherhood would be this challenging. Whether it is all of the poopy diapers you have to change, endless feedings, pulling of hair, spit-up covering your favorite outfit, baby waking up every 2 hours (as a newborn) because of hunger, having a cranky baby because he is over tired and all he wants to do is fight his nap, no shower for 2+ days because you can't seem to find the time, being peed on because you didn't get the next one on fast enough, pulling off at the nearest exit to feed your baby because your baby can't make it 20 more minutes to your house, blowouts in public and you don't have an extra outfit, making dinner one-handed because your baby won't let you put him down, etc. Some of these I just laugh about, but others it seems as if I'm being cursed. It's only going to get more crazy, I'm sure.

Growing up I always thought my mom had everything together, she made it look so easy, but behind it all she was probably ready to pull her hair out with how crazy us kids were. She had 9 kids too. I only have 1 and sometimes I feel like I'd rather jump out of a window than deal with a crying baby, especially at 2 in the morning when I'd rather be warm, sleeping in bed. Even though I'd rather have a happy baby than a crying baby, all my stress goes out the window when Logan flashes me a smile after crying. It just melts my heart and I remember all over again why I am his mother and what a privilege I have. Some women don't have the chance to be a mother in this life and I just need to realize how lucky I am. Every day I start with my to-do list in my head and mentally check one thing off after another throughout the day, but at the end of the day I hardly ever get everything done. On those days I didn't get anything crossed off, I remember that I did so much that day....even though it may not be on my list....things like nursing my son, playing with my son, reading to him, singing to him, etc. aren't on my list every day, but they are still things I accomplished that day. I should be happy that I taught my son something that day, even if I can't get something done around the house like doing laundry, making my husband a meal, cleaning the house, doing dishes, etc. On those days where I've felt like I've been changing dirty diapers all day, nursing all day, or have gotten nothing done....I need to remember I've done all I needed to do for that day and that's all that matters.

Writing these thoughts down gives me a reminder that I just need to put my son first with everything and not worry about the other things that need to be done around the house all the time. I literally am letting my sons life fly by when I'm only worrying about those things. This life is so short and it seems as if the last 4 1/2 months of his life has flown by....I just need to slow down and remember my real purpose as his mother and it is to nurture and care for him. Writing these things down has also told me that I spend too much time on my phone/computer....(facebook, instagram, movies, etc). I am really going to try and give my son my full attention when he is awake (include him in everything, rather than just laying him in the living room alone while I'm cooking in the other room) because I don't want to regret my choices of the time I spent with him in the future.

This post was probably all over the place....but this isn't just a rant post or me complaining that being a mother is hard, but merely a post to tell myself that I don't need a perfectly thrown together life to be happy. I have been happily married for almost 3 years, have a beautiful, healthy baby boy, have a testimony of the gospel, and am safe. What more can I ask for?

I have so much to be grateful for and I just need to live one day at a time and not stress out about unimportant things. I love being a mother and I know it's what I'm supposed to be doing at this time in my life. I am so grateful that God has entrusted one of his children to Earth to be raised by Steve and I. I am going to try my best and be a good mom throughout his whole life.


I love you all and truly appreciate the love and support I feel on a daily basis from you all.

How can you not love this face?!